Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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