I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
