Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
