My nipple is on Facebook.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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