she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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