how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
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I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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