What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
