Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
