One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
