Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
