I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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