the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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