i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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