Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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