you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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