the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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