you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
