still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
