i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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