My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
