I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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