then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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