the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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