At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
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The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
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Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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