omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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