You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
