just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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