Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
