can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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