Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize