You can't special order awesome
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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