just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
