I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize