I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
