I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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