Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
