it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
