Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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