I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
