there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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