Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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