you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
