Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
