Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
