At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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