I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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