hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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