I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Randomize
