I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
