the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
