i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
