Screwed.edu
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
