school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
