I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
