guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
