Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
