That's when you crack a 10am beer
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
where does the pee come out of this thing
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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