FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
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booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
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I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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