I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just puked most of my soul out..
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