You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
