you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
