But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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