I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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